š Are we simply trying to fill a gap?
If you read that as innuendo, youād be part right lol
Hi friends! Iām Jeannette and this is the 11th issue of The Sex Beat, a (supposedly) bimonthly newsletter in which I document my research on sex. Iām a little late on this one because it was Husbandās birthday weekend. I keep telling myself to pre-write these newsletters but between thesis writing and writing for clients, it just hasn't happened yet š As always, itās super easy to unsubscribe.Ā
RecentIy, I was sent an old article from 2008. Published in Time Magazine a year after the launch of the 1st generation iPhone, the piece dives into how the adult industry saw the iPhone as a potential platform for āpocket pornā.Ā Ā
Jeremy Caplan (who also writes an amazing newsletter about tools for creative productivity) wrote in the article that:Ā
Leading porn purveyors see the iPhone as a dream come true. Its relatively ample screen size, speedy Web access and ease of use are just part of it. The device's miniaturized version of Apple's Safari software simplifies mobile access and streamlines the process of tailoring dirty sites for optimal viewing on the go.
I love the fact that the iPhone was a landmark in the history of pornography. (Iām also keeping a record of this, so if you have any other historical events in porn to share, please do!)
New technology often means new ways to produce and consume media. That this media always includes sex in some form says something about humans ā what exactly, Iām not sure. (I once asked, and am constantly asking if we are haunted by sex in some way.)Ā
For example, when there were new developments in the printing press, we got pin-up girls and porn magazines. When the first consumer camcorder came out, āhome videoā porn became a thing.Ā
Now that we have chatbots powered by Artificial Intelligence (AI), this is the sort of thing Iāve been finding on the App Store.
Which makes me wonder: What if our obsession with sex is really a desire for intimacy. Beyond biochemical pleasure responses in the body and the drive of our biology, what if thereās something within all of us thatās striving to be known, and loved, and accepted.Ā
Perhaps this is why we keep trying to find ways to make our sex media more interactive, more engaging, more ārealā.
Empathy and intimacy in virtual porn
In a project on virtual reality (VR) pornography, a group of researchers asked if the growth in usage of VR porn was due to increased feelings of intimacy, rather than just immersive entertainment.Ā
In order to test this, they conducted an experiment in which they measured and compared oxytocin levels of men who watched two different pornography films ā one in 2D and one in VR. They also conducted a survey asking the men to report how they felt after watching the films.Ā
Although the men reported feeling more connected and more desired, whatās interesting is that the oxytocin levels didnāt always correlate with their reported feelings of pleasure or engagement. Levels of oxytocin only increased when perceived eye-contact was higher in the VR setting.Ā
Oxytocin has many roles in the body; it causes uterine contractions during childbirth, as well as lactation when breastfeeding. However, it also plays a role in sexual arousal, trust, romantic attachment and bonding.Ā
What these results seem to indicate is that pleasure does not equate to intimacy. And that perhaps this drive to consume more porn or to develop more innovative porn experiences are simply a replacement for something else.Ā
We are creatures of desire
There is a Lacanian psychoanalytic explanation for this ie. that we are all fundamentally lacking and that leads to desire.Ā
In Mari Rutiās article, The Fall of Fantasies, she writes that after we are born and grow into childhood, we learn to distinguish ourselves from the rest of the world. We attach words to the things around us and thus, attach meanings to them.Ā
While this allows us to survive and get by in the world, it also sets each of us apart as separate beings. I am not you. I am not that tree. At the same time, giving a thing a name ā saying that it is one thing, means denying all the other things that it could be.Ā
We suddenly discover that we are separate from the world and that there are things that are forbidden to us. We suffer a loss that we never get over. We have a void that we are constantly trying to fill. So we turn to food and sex and music and money and a whole lot of other things.Ā
Perhaps this explanation is a little esoteric so hereās another way to look at it.
Perhaps weāre just deeply lonely
I say ājustā but the truth is, loneliness is a public health issue.Ā
Loneliness is increasing around the world, especially in industralised countries. Loneliness increases the risk of premature mortality. In adults age 50 and above, loneliness leads to a whole host of health issues including dementia, heart disease and stroke.Ā
Isnāt it ironic that in an age when everyone is a Zoom call away, social connectedness is at an all-time low?
The thing about loneliness is this: Itās not actually about being alone. Loneliness is the gap between your desired and actual relationships. Two people may have the same amount of friends, or even close relationships, but one may feel more loneliness than the other because what they have doesnāt meet their expectations.Ā
Where do these expectations come from? Who says our relationships have to be a certain way? And how do these expectations affect our approach to relationships and sex?Ā
When we use the latest technologies and new social platforms to create and consume porn, are we really just trying to find better ways to connect with other human beings? Or perhaps ourselves?
That said, I'm actually pretty excited to see how technologies like AR/VR, AI and wearables will change the landscape of experiential media. Will porn continue to thrive?Ā
Or perhaps when we are all part of the metaverse, when we can no longer separate our ārealā experiences from the media we consume, āpornographyā will cease to exist and it will all just be āsexā.
As always, I find myself with more questions than answers.
References:
Barreto, M., Victor, C., Hammond, C., Eccles, A., Richins, M. T., & Qualter, P. (2021). Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness. Personality and Individual Differences, 169, 110066. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110066
Dekker, A., Wenzlaff, F., Biedermann, S. V., Briken, P., & Fuss, J. (2021). VR Porn as āEmpathy Machineā? Perception of Self and Others in Virtual Reality Pornography. The Journal of Sex Research, 58(3), 273ā278. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2020.1856316
Jeste, D. V., Lee, E. E., & Cacioppo, S. (2020). Battling the Modern Behavioral Epidemic of Loneliness. JAMA Psychiatry, 77(6), 553. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2020.0027
Ruti, M. (2008). The Fall of Fantasies: A Lacanian Reading of Lack. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 56(2), 483ā508. https://doi.org/10.1177/0003065108319687
On Pornography:
I talked a bit about the history or pornography in an āIntroduction to Porn Studiesā lecture I gave to third-year media students earlier this year (thanks to my supervisor).Ā
The lecture slides have been sitting in my Drive for months. I thought they might be of interest. (I converted them into a Pitch deck, so if there are formatting issues, apologies in advance!)
If you have any thoughts, ideas, feedback or questions, just hit reply! I love hearing from you.Ā
Reading & Watching:
Love Between Humans and Jinn. A chapter in the book Islam, Arabs, and the Intelligent World of the Jinn by Amira El-Zein. The whole book is fascinating and this chapter in particular touches on how love between humans and spirits was a topic that appealed to Muslim writers, whether they were Orthodox, popular or Sufi.
(I am up to my ears in words š£)