Hi, I’m Jeannette and this is the 18th issue of The Sex Beat, a newsletter documenting my research on sex. After seven years of being jobless self-employment, I’m starting a full-time job next week – more at the end of today’s issue. As always, if you no longer want to get this newsletter, please unsubscribe here.
I recently finished watching an anime called The Way of the Househusband, which is based on a manga of the same name. It’s a fun watch and although its animation style was criticised – it was more like a motion comic instead of anime – I enjoyed its bite-sized absurdity.
The Way of the Househusband is about an ex-yakuza boss named Tatsu, who becomes a househusband to support his wife, Miku. The anime shows Tatsu taking on everyday domestic work with the same obsessive intensity that earned him the nickname “the Immortal Dragon” in the yakuza.
The comedic element is how seriously he takes on this new role, especially when he runs into former associates and rival gang members. He’s so serious about it that he even has a mentor, an elderly woman from whom he learns more about keeping house (he speaks to her as he would to a higher-status gang member).
Shambhavi Siddhi wrote a nice analysis in Feminism India on the blatant feminism in The Way of the Househusband. And it’s true that Tatsu tackles househusbanding without shame, which contributes to the normalisation of it.
But I’d like to explore this from another angle, especially with regards to the live-action adaptation, called The Ingenuity of the Househusband.
“Tatsu reminds me of V”
A friend who had watched the live-action version sent me a text message saying that Tatsu reminded her of my husband, V.
To be honest, I started watching the anime because the word “househusband” also makes me think of V. So much so I bought the domain asianhousehusband.com a few years ago, before realising that it was vaguely sexual.
In The Way of the Househusband, Miku is very career-focused and has hobbies that are totally unrelated to her life as a married woman. She is also bad at things like cooking and cleaning, which means that she helps out but Tatsu has to bear most of the workload when it comes to the home.
People are surprised when they realise that my hypermasculine husband approaches housework with the same intensity as sports, cars, and whisky. I’ve been told that I’m lucky. My mom has semi-jokingly apologised to him because I’m bad at cleaning and most house chores. (I still try.)
My questions: Why are people surprised and why am I lucky? Also why did my mom feel the need to apologise?
Why is the househusband ingenious?
In The Ingenuity of the Househusband, which I’ve almost finished, we are shown super short episodes (3-6 minutes) of Tatsu doing things around the house.
In one episode, he sharpens a knife and makes coffee. In another, he fixes the paper on a shōji and oils the tracks of an inner sliding door. In other episodes, he does laundry and sorts trash. There’s no dialogue, but his narration overlays all his activities. He does not seem to be an ex-yakuza in this version, and instead works as a voice actor.
I’ve enjoyed watching the series, but I did wonder where the interest stems from.
Would I (or anyone else) be as engaged watching a woman do these banal house chores?
Would we consider her detail-oriented and dedicated, or would we think, “omg, this woman is so exacting and fussy”?
Why does it become a “craft” when a man does it? And why is he “clever” when he does it well?
Something from social media
Writing today’s issue reminded me of this comic about parenting I saw on Instagram.
Some personal updates
As I mentioned at the start, I’ve been self-employed for seven years now. It’s been really interesting exploring so many different things.
After quitting my full-time job at a bank to learn coding, I started an ecommerce business that I eventually sold. During my gap year, I did some rapporteuring, bartended, tried hair modelling, experimented with a couple of other business ideas, and then the pandemic hit.
It’s been a crazy couple of years, during which I did research on media diversity and inclusivity with an NGO, went back to school and discovered that I could survive quite well as a “company of one”.
But I’ve also missed being a part of a team and just as I was sending out those vibes into the universe, a friend reached out and asked if I was looking for a full-time role. I’m always casually looking and open to promising offers, so I sent over my CV. A week later, I signed on the dotted line.
I’m excited to start this new chapter. Wish me luck!